While it’s great that modern women are openly embracing concepts like sexual empowerment and body positivity, those things definitely come more naturally to some of us than others. Even the most confident women you know probably didn’t get there overnight, so it’s important to understand that sexual confidence is a process.

Sexiness and sultriness are totally qualities you can cultivate though. The key to success lies in learning to love yourself and to embrace your unique sexuality for everything that it is, both with a partner and on your own. It’s easier than you think and we’re here to teach you how.

Dress the Part

We’re all familiar with how powerful putting together the right look can be, right? We all have a specific dress, a pair of jeans, a power suit, or a favorite lipstick that makes us feel like a million bucks every time we put it on. We can’t help but walk taller, hold our heads higher, and act with more confidence than we normally would.

If you really want to get in touch with your inner seductress, make it a point to wear things that make you feel your sexiest and most attractive. Feeling sexy really helps you to easier achieve unforgettable orgasms! That doesn’t have to mean high heels, red lipstick, and skintight vinyl (although it’s fine if you want it to). If you feel your sultriest dressed in a white t-shirt, a ponytail, and a bare face, then that’s the look you should be rocking.

Embrace the Art of Self-Love

No, we’re not talking about giving yourself a pep talk or treating yourself to a manicure when you want one. We’re talking about spending some serious sexual one-on-one time with yourself and truly getting to know your body. Women who are sexually empowered and positively ooze sex appeal are women who perfectly understand how their bodies like to be touched.

If you’re most comfortable doing things au natural and letting your fingers do the walking, that’s perfectly OK, but don’t underestimate the value of adding the right sex toy to the mix. A great vibrator can be positively lifechanging and introduce you to interesting new sensations you never knew you’d love so much, so don’t be afraid to open that door and walk through it with gusto.

Talk About Sex

If you’re in a relationship or seeing someone, then it makes sense to include your partner in the process. Better sex and higher sexual confidence start with open, frank conversation about those topics, so it’s officially time to get comfortable communicating with your partner on this level (if you don’t already).

Start by being honest with them about how you’re feeling. Tell them you’re looking to get in touch with a sultrier, more sexually expressive version of yourself. If you’ve got some ideas on what changes you’d like to make, bring those up for discussion. Invite your partner to offer up some suggestions of their own if they like. Example topics to consider can include personal fantasies, sex toys, roleplay, or items to add to a mutual “sexual bucket list”.

Cultivate Confidence in General

How you carry yourself, conduct yourself, and live your life outside of the bedroom has more to do with your sexual confidence than you might think. Mindfully look for opportunities to be more assertive and cultivate confidence in every areas of your life. It’s only a matter of time before you’re instinctively doing it in the bedroom as well.

Is there something you want that you know you deserve – a promotion, an apology, or even just a little appreciation? Do you know beyond the shadow of a doubt when you’re right? Are you tired of going along to get along so much of the time? Speak up. Make your voice heard. Confidence and assertiveness aren’t just useful qualities to have. They’re five-alarm sexy as well.

Be Yourself

Every woman has features and personal qualities she likes about herself, as well as a few she doesn’t like. Most of us spend way too much time focusing on what we don’t like and looking for ways to hide it or change it. Instead, try flipping the script and focusing on the positive instead.

What do you like most about yourself, and what do other people compliment you on the most? Maybe it’s your sparkling blue eyes, your long legs, or your naturally curly hair. It could be your sense of humor, your smile, or your laugh. Those aren’t just the things that make you stand out. They’re the features that make you sexiest, so look for ways to play them up and make them work for you. Trust us when we say no one’s really noticing the things you don’t like about yourself anyway.

At the end of the day, “sexy” is all about how comfortable you are in your own skin, both in the bedroom and outside of it. Isn’t it time you explored the possibilities?