Seduction is about so much more than simply enticing someone into wanting to have sex with you. Seduction at its finest is about making someone crave you on a level that’s much more than physical. It’s about making sure that person can’t get you out of their head, both when they’re with you and long after they’ve gone home to be alone with their thoughts again.

Don’t worry. You don’t have to be a born seductress to become an absolute master at it. Seduction is an art, and like every art, it can be learned and perfected with enough dedication. Here’s how to get started in the right direction.

Be Your Most Confident Self

Confidence is a critical part of being your sexiest, most seductive self. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how gorgeous you are or whether you know all the right things to say to get your lover’s engine running. If you’re not also confident in your delivery, you’ll seem like you’re out of your element or otherwise don’t really know what you’re doing.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking you have to fit some overly specific stereotype in order to be seductive. You’ll find it easier to be confident if you focus on being the sexiest possible version of yourself. Wear clothing and makeup that makes you feel sexy and attractive, as opposed to what you think the other person wants to see you in. Be flirtatious, but be yourself. You don’t have to be somebody else to turn your lover on.

Make Them Feel Good

Think back to the last time someone successfully seduced you. You may not remember what their most attractive feature was or exactly what their best move was in bed. You almost certainly remember the way they made you feel though – attractive, happy, and just plain good. That’s the key to catching and keeping just about anyone’s interest.

Compliments are a relatively easy way to get started, as everyone likes to hear nice things about themselves. Just take care not to lay it on too thick. Make sure you’re sincere as well. People are very intuitive, and most can see right through compliment that isn’t truly meant. Smiling, laughing, and just basically being a fun person to be around are still more ways to make sure your person of choice always has a wonderful feeling when they’re around you.

Talk with Your Body

The X-factor that separates a true mistress of seduction from everyone else is her mastery of body language. That said, don’t be afraid to let your body tell your lover exactly what’s on your mind, subtly at first and more overtly later. Subtle but seductive body language is a great way to add emphasis and appeal to any words you might be saying as well.

Whenever you’re near your lover, make sure you’re always facing them, especially if you’re engaged in a conversation. Sit close to them, but not too close. Focus on them when they talk and lean into them subtly when you interact with one another. Touch them gently and casually when it makes sense to do so. Last but definitely not least, make plenty of eye contact. You can convey an amazing amount of passion just by making the right amount of eye contact at the right times.

Let Them Work for It

Have you ever noticed that a reward is that much sweeter when you actually have to work for it a little? Skillful seductresses make it a point to subtly but unmistakably convey their interest in someone, but then leave some of the work up to the other person. That means playing a little hard to get.

Don’t tell the other person every little detail about you. Tell them just enough to keep them intrigued, but always leave a little something to their imagination so that they always have something left to wonder about when you’re not around. Send them texts that are flirtatious without spelling everything out for them. Definitely give them a chance to chase you a little.

Be Willing to Practice

The art of seduction comes more easily to some than others, so don’t worry if you need to work at it a little before you get things exactly right. It takes time, patience, and practice to cultivate a technique that’s unique to you.

Focus on wearing, doing, and saying things that make you feel sexy without also making you feel like you’re channeling someone else. Spend some of your free time thinking sexy thoughts. Fantasize to your heart’s content and get in touch with your sexual side by indulging it with sex toys and sensual experiences. It won’t be long before oozing sex appeal feels just like second nature to you.