While there’s really no such thing as a bad orgasm, even a good thing can always be a little bit better, right? Fierce, fabulous women that hustle hard all day deserve nights filled with toe-curling, life-changing orgasms – the kind of screaming O’s we’re all familiar with from the movies – and they’re easier to achieve than you think. All it takes is a little know-how, some practice, and some experimentation.
Here we’ll go over everything you need to know to start having the crazy-intense orgasms you’ve been fantasizing about, either on your own or with a partner. Where will you be starting your journey to the O of your dreams?
Workouts for Your Sex Life
Sex has more in common with every other active pastime you might enjoy than you think. It’s definitely exercise and that being the case, it pays to get yourself into fighting shape and stay that way. Naturally, we’re talking about Kegels, the exercises designed to strengthen and tone the muscles of your pelvic floor. If you’re not already doing them, it’s definitely time to start. The stronger the muscles in your pelvic floor become, the more intensely they’ll contract when you do go over the edge into orgasm.
Since no one can tell when you’re doing them, you can squeeze a Kegel workout into your agenda absolutely any time. To do one, simply contract the same set of muscles you’d engage to control your urine stream, hold for 3-5 seconds, and release. For best results, do three sets of ten reps throughout your day. When you’re ready, you can also try making things more challenging by adding a set of Ben Wa balls to your routine.
The Right Tools for the Job
As anyone who’s ever owned a vibrator can tell you, sex toys can be world-changing when it comes to the quality of your orgasms. Spending plenty of time playing with your toys is a great way to experiment with different sensations and learn which types really make you scream as well.
Block off a nice chunk of time sometime you won’t be disturbed and work on intensifying your orgasm by extending the experience. Bring yourself to the brink of orgasm, but hold off before you actually go over the edge. Repeat this process as many times as you can stand it. Then prepare for the ride of your life when you finally do allow yourself that release. You can recreate this experience with a partner during foreplay as well.
Never underestimate the oomph the right lube can bring to the table either. Even the most basic lube can work wonders when it comes to conveying sensation, but when you’re ready, you can turn up the dial even further with warming or cooling formulas, ultra-glide silicone lubes, and more. Also keep in mind that it’s a common misconception that lube is for making up the difference on days your natural lubrication just isn’t doing the job. In actuality, lube is always a good fit – for everyone and all the time. Embrace it!
Turn Up the Temp
What would you say if we told you temperature may have a lot to do with how intense your orgasms are or aren’t? According to a one Dutch study, the temperature of a woman’s feet actually had a lot to do with her likelihood of reaching orgasm in the first place. In fact, those whose feet were warm as opposed to cold while they engaged in sexual activity were actually 30% more likely to finish with a bang, so to speak. They reported having orgasms that were more intense as well.
Now that you have that information, it’s up to you what you do with it. Try wearing socks while you make love or getting it on while enjoying a warm bubble bath. Ask your partner to treat you to a foot massage with a sensual heating massage oil as part of foreplay. Experiment to your heart’s content and be sure to take notes on how each approach effects the intensity of your orgasm.
Wake Up Those Nerve Endings
You already know how important the clitoris and the G-spot are when it comes to achieving powerful orgasms with any consistency. If that’s where your efforts stop though, there’s a chance your orgasms still aren’t as intense as they otherwise could be. Your body is full of forgotten (or untapped) erogenous zones that are well worth getting to know a little better.
Try starting with a little nipple action. Chances are you or your partner already enjoy stimulating those during foreplay or even during intercourse, but it’s high time you understood their potential. Not only does nipple stimulation release the feel-good hormone oxytocin, but some women are actually able to reach orgasm via that alone. Stimulation for your nerve-rich anal area is also worth exploring as a way to intensify your orgasm or help you get there faster.
Feel free to explore to your heart’s content though. Many women find being touched, kissed, or otherwise stimulated on their inner thighs, ears, stomachs, or necks to be a great way to pursue or amplify their orgasms as well.
The Mind Has It
We already know how visual men are when it comes to sexual stimulation. While women can definitely be the same way, most ladies are more about what’s going on upstairs mentally. That said, a woman’s mind is arguably her most important (and overlooked) erogenous zone, so keep this in mind while chasing the perfect orgasm. Having an emotional connection to a partner definitely helps, but you may want to try the following ideas as well:
- Take a little time before your rendezvous to relax, unwind, and clear your mind. Meditation works wonders, but so does a nice bubble bath or a nice, peaceful walk.
- Read a little erotica, watch some sensual porn, or listen to some music you find sexy to prepare for the upcoming festivities.
- Have your partner treat you to a romantic sensual massage complete with scented massage oil, candles, and the whole nine yards. (Feel free to return the favor if you’re in the mood too.)
- Don’t underestimate how powerful fantasy can be. If you know you’ll be getting down and dirty later, spend some time during the day fantasizing about your partner or about something extra sexy you’re hoping to try soon. It’s like foreplay for your mind!
Activate Your Senses
Sensation play is well worth adding to your sexual repertoire for a lot of reasons as well. It’s a wonderful way to activate underutilized nerve endings and experiment with different types of arousal. It’s also a terrific way to take foreplay to the next level and prepare your body for some truly next-level orgasms.
Try heightening your sense of touch by donning a sexy blindfold or having your lover treat you to a little light, playful spanking and/or some soft teasing with a feather tickler. If you like that, you may want to consider adding additional sex toys to your repertoire and experimenting further. (Think floggers, paddles, and so forth!) Temperature play can be a great way to activate your senses as well, so don’t be afraid to break out the ice cubes and the warm honey if you’re in the mood. Try it and see for yourself!