7 Sex-Positive Goals Everyone Should Have on Their Bucket List
Sex – we love it, we crave it, we need it. Those of us that can’t imagine our lives without it are pretty much always looking for ways to take our sensuality to the next level as well. That said, sex isn’t just a fantastic way to get to know your own body or grow closer to a partner. It’s a valuable skill that can be learned, perfected, and expanded with a little creativity and curiosity.
That said, there are just some possibilities pretty much everyone ought to have on their sexual bucket list if they’re truly interested in having a well-rounded collection of sexual experiences. The following are a few examples to start with, but feel free to expand the list to include your own sexual goals.
Master the art of self-love.
Just about everyone indulges in a little solo action once in a while, but far too few people ever fully embrace masturbation for the wonderful thing that it is. Instead they see it as a lesser substitute for the real thing, a mindset most develop as teenagers and never quite grow out of.
In actuality, self-love is an important part of a rich, full intimate life for many reasons. Masturbating helps you discover yourself and learn what turns you on, and can even uncover how you like to be touched – valuable information you can then pass on to a lover. It’s a great way to relieve tension, manage stress, or deal with sexual dry spells. Self-love is an incredibly empowering way to take responsibility for your own pleasure as well.
Enjoy erotic media with a partner.
Haven’t you heard? Porn and erotica aren’t just for solo enjoyment on the downlow anymore. They can be amazing sources of inspiration and stimulation for you and your partner to enjoy together as well. Erotic media can certainly help get things going in the foreplay department. It’s also a great way to facilitate open, frank conversation about personal turn-ons, kinks, and fantasies – something just about every relationship could use more of.
Try challenging yourselves by putting on your favorite porn video and acting out everything you see on the screen, just for fun. You can turn to porn for inspiration when it comes to costumes, positions, sexy activities, and scenarios if you feel things are getting a little too routine as well.
Start a sex toy collection.
Don’t assume that a skilled set of hands and a hungry mouth are the only suitable alternatives to good, old-fashioned intercourse. Sex toys are an absolute must-try if you’re serious about expanding your sexual horizons. Yes, they’re terrific for adding some extra oomph to your solo sessions, but they’re incredible ways to kick things up a notch with your partner as well. (Think couple’s vibrators, vibrating cock rings, and more!)
If you’re new to toys, start with something basic and fairly approachable (e.g. a moderately sized vibrator). When you’re ready, try adding more toys to the mix and exploring a variety of different ways to use them. A well-stocked naughty toy chest full of fun options is an investment well worth making!
Pick a day and spend it in bed.
Everyone needs a delicious, self-indulgent, “treat yourself” kind of day once in a while. That said, if you’ve never given yourself permission to spend an entire day (or weekend) all wrapped up in your partner, it’s really time you fixed that. Stay naked the entire time. Go crazy on each other as often as you like and for as long at a time as you please. Then fill the spaces in between love sessions with some serious cuddling or a couple of restorative cat naps.
Not exactly paired up at the moment? Happy, sex-loving singles can totally do something similar all by themselves if they like. Splurge on that brand new rabbit vibrator you’ve been dreaming about for months, snag a new lube to go with it, and devote an entire afternoon to exploring both. Definitely don’t skimp on little touches like ultra-silky bed sheets, candles, or soft music if you’re into those things. You don’t need a partner to justify pampering yourself a little and going the extra mile to make your day special!
Explore your back door.
You don’t necessarily have to be into full throttle anal sex to get a lot of pleasure from that same set of nerve endings. Your anal area is packed with sensitive nerve endings that absolutely love to be touched, teased, and stimulated, so if you haven’t given backdoor play in general a chance yet, you could really be missing out. If you like the idea of being anally penetrated by a toy, a finger, or a penis, then by all means go for it, but you don’t have to take things that far unless you want to.
Start slow with some light, gentle touching or try stimulating the outside of your anal area with your favorite vibrating sex toy. If you’re comfortable with it, you can continue exploring with toys like anal beads, butt plugs, or extra-thick lube made especially for anal play lovers. If back door play turns out to totally be your jam, you’ll be forever grateful that you tried it. If not, you can say in all honesty that you actually know what you’re missing, right?
Get it on in public.
As with anal play, the idea of public sex either really gets your engine going or it doesn’t. It’s the type of experience that’s well worth considering though. You don’t necessarily have to have full-on intercourse in the riskiest spot in town in order to experience the sweet thrill of possible detection either. You can totally start small with a hand job on your balcony under the cover of darkness or some sneaky groping in the back row of an otherwise empty movie theater.
Are you and your beloved already into public nookie, but looking for a way to take things to the next level? Try adding a discreet remote controlled vibrator to the mix. One partner wears the vibrating component while the other controls it via a handy remote, a smartphone app, or both. Perfect for enjoying a little clandestine fun anytime and anywhere without anyone being the wiser!
Live out one of your fantasies.
Everyone has a pet fantasy or two that they like to entertain from time to time, but most simply keep theirs to themselves. Some might tell a trusted partner or close friend about theirs, but that’s often as far as they go for any number of reasons. Why not consider going one step further and taking the necessary steps to bring your fantasy (or your partner’s) to life? So long as it’s safe and everyone involved consents, anything goes.
Start by sitting down with your partner for a little judgment-free fantasy trade. Choose one or two options from each person’s list that spark interest in both of you. Then commit to acting out those fantasies out in real life. (You can either plan things out together or one of you can surprise the other on a special night.) Trust us when we say it’ll be an amazing bonding experience for both of you. Let your imagination run wild and explore the possibilities to the fullest together!